


An Explosive Affair

by CrystalVolcheck



Series: Park Avenue [5]
Category: Penguins of Madagascar
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 15:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6526534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalVolcheck/pseuds/CrystalVolcheck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on “Kaboom and Kabust” Rico’s been acting strange or at least in terms of what is strange for Rico. Breaking curfew,disappearing for hours at a time without notice, and texting late into the night are only a few things that Kowalski has picked up on and fearing the worst, he’s determined to figure out what Rico’s hiding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_“Dance away, while the bullets fly/You know they come so close/I'll bet they put something in the air tonight/just to light your face….”_

Rico let out a groan and attempted to pry Julien off his chest so he could turn off his phone alarm. “Julien,” he whispered, wincing as he untangled their legs finding that they were more or less stuck together. Of course Julien wasn’t making it any easier seeming to curl closer to him, which really didn’t seem possible given that the man was already laying on top of him. He had first hesitated upon agreeing to stay the night knowing this was exactly what would happen.

“Hmm, can’t you stay longer?” Julien muttered finally rolling over to let Rico get up, he knew it wasn’t a big deal, but he couldn’t help but wish that just once they could sleep in and wake up to each other. He rubbed at his eyes as the lamp on the nightstand was turned on. Once his eyes adjusted Julien let out whistle as he was greeted by the sight of Rico pulling black boxer briefs over his ass which was a sight worth waking up for.

“I wish.” Rico shook his head all too used to Julien’s antics and briefly debated whether or not he could stay a bit longer. But he knew that it was too risky and didn’t want to chance losing the already small amounts of time they got to be together when Skipper ordered him to ‘take care of the crybaby's problems.’ It was funny to think that he and Julien had even managed to form a tentative friendship and even funnier that it grew steadily over the last few weeks into something else.

“One day,” Julien smiled fondly as he got out of bed and found Rico’s t-shirt as the man pulled on his pants. “We’re still having dinner tonight right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Rico replied giving Julien a quick kiss as he took the shirt from his hands, “Go back to sleep.”

“No shower?” Julien’s offer wasn’t serious, it was far too early and he was ready to go back to sleep, but it was a fun idea to entertain.

“Next time-promise.”

“As your king, I shall hold you to that or have your head.” Julien teased, stealing another kiss before slipping back into the still warm bed already growing tired. He wasn’t used to getting up at 3 in the morning, but he would do it for Rico, especially when only a few minutes later the light was turned off and he felt lips brush his cheek.

Rico left quietly, slipping through the front door of their base ten minutes later. A part of him was already regretting leaving, as was expected given he felt that way every time Julien convinced him to stay for the night or at least part of it. Something that Julien wanted to happen more and more often and while Rico wanted the same, he knew Skipper wouldn’t react well to his relationship with Julien. It was a small detail that irritated him to no end since he felt happy with Julien and had someone to return his affections and give him attention. Which was all that he really wanted or at least part of what really wanted, but he didn’t dare think about that for too long. 

Instead he focused on making it up stairs to his room and praying that Kowalski was still asleep, that was often a gamble, given that both of them had a hard time sleeping. So far Rico had gotten lucky (in more than one sense) and had been able to slip out and in without notice, but there was that gnawing feeling in the back of his mind that his luck wouldn’t hold out for much longer.

“Rico?”

He nearly jumped out of his skin hearing Kowalski call his name just as he closed the door to his side of the divided room. “Sorry, couldn’t sleep, went for a walk,” the lie came smoothly as he saw Kowalski wrapped in his blue robe with concern written on his face.

“Did you want to talk about it?”

“No, just restless.” Rico winced internally seeing a brief flash of what seemed to be hurt cross his friend’s face. He hated lying to Kowalski, but he didn’t know what would happen if he told him the truth. He already feared what would happen if Skipper caught wind of his trysts with Julien.

“O-oh okay, well goodnight then.” Kowalski stumbled over his reply taken by surprise, normally if Rico couldn’t sleep it was because something was bothering him, not a case of being restless. He retreated back to his room, just catching Rico’s soft ‘Night’ before he was out of earshot.

As Kowalski slipped out of his robe he recalled that he had been on the thin line between being awake and asleep when he noticed that it had been oddly silent. He hadn’t even realized that he had fallen asleep before can finished getting ready for bed Rico hours ago. But a bolt of fear had run down his spine at the silence and in seconds he had rushed out of bed and tripped through the doorway only to find Rico’s bed empty. He had just put on his robe to see if Rico had gone up to either the rooftop or his studio when the younger man had slipped through his bedroom door.

Actually, now that he thought about it, he wasn’t even certain if he had seen Rico since they had cleaned up after dinner and went their separate ways for some well-deserved downtime. Was it possible that with all the excitement that had happened over the last few weeks Rico had slipped from his notice? That thought made Kowalski cringe, it wasn’t something that he liked to have happen, especially after the younger man’s OD several months ago. Perhaps that was the reason Rico hadn’t felt the need to talk to him when he came in, which Kowalski could admit hurt since he was the one person Rico was willing to be open with.

If that was the case, then it made sense that Rico hadn’t even interrupted him once when he had been working in the lab earlier. Unless Rico had come in-but he had been too busy to notice or too worried about Skipper kicking his ass if he spend any more of the budget on lime gelatin.

Then again maybe the younger man was simply taking advantage of their first bout of free time in what had to have been weeks.

Whatever the case was it made Kowalski’s stomach turn sour and he laid awake listening to Rico’s even breathing turn into snoring until he heard Skipper get up. He waited a good twenty minutes before deciding to start his day as well.

Skipper was just pouring his first cup of coffee when Kowalski entered the kitchen.

“Well aren’t you up early.”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“ _Not_ bringing a cube of Jell-O to life is not something to lose sleep over.” Skipper couldn’t help but comment as he reached into the cabinet to get out another mug for Kowalski who was getting creamer out of the fridge. He’d be lying if said that Kowalski wasn’t looking a little worse for wear, noticing the beginning of dark circles under the younger man’s eyes.

“It wasn’t that, I woke up and didn’t hear any snoring so when I got up to see if he was okay, I caught him sneaking back into his room.” Kowalski practically spat the last few words of the sentence out as if he had bit into something sour.

“So? He broke curfew to get some tail, wouldn’t be the first time he’s done it and it’s not the first time anyone on this team has done it.”

Kowalski frowned at the pointed look Skipper was giving him, “It’s not that Skipper. Rico said that he couldn’t sleep and went for a walk, normally if Rico has something troubling him he comes to me.”

“Maybe he wants to work out his problems instead of running to you every time or it’s not something he’s ready to share yet.” Skipper kept his voice even as he filed away that small tidbit of information.

“How can you be so calm about this? Is Rico dealing with things on his own not the reason we nearly lost him?”

“I understand your concern, but Rico seems happier than he has been in a long time and if this is only the first time you’ve caught him coming in late then I wouldn’t worry about it yet.”

“But Skipper-”

“Let it go for now, Rico is allowed to associate and be friends with people other than you. If you’re so worried about it, then keep an eye on him and talk to him instead of waiting for him to talk to you.”

Kowalski huffed in irritation but accepted the fresh cup of coffee from his commanding officer, “I suppose you have a point.”

“Don’t take that tone with me, I know how bad Rico’s OD threw you, and believe me, it hit me just as hard…”

“But-” Kowalski knew it was coming as he added the creamer to his coffee.

“But, we can’t over analyze his every action and dictate his every action or instead of talking him down from the edge, we’ll push him right off of it.” Skipper passed Kowalski a spoon and slid the sugar bowl towards him just as he turned from putting the creamer away. 

“I’m sorry Skipper, I don’t know what got into me.” Kowalski felt sheepish as he added sugar to his coffee and stirred it. He knew exactly what happened but he wasn’t sure how to put it into words.

“No need to apologize, you woke up to a quiet room and it scared you. In my opinion as both your commanding officer and your friend, I don’t think Rico’s the only one who would benefit from talking to someone every once in a while.”

Kowalski felt himself bristle and he threw the spoon into the sink with more force than necessary, “yeah well, there are quite a few things I’m not ready to share myself.”

“I never said you had to talk to me about it, and to be honest I wouldn’t be the best choice.”

“If it gives you some peace of mind, Skipper, you wouldn’t be my first choice and you wouldn’t be my second.” Kowalski bit the inside of his cheek, it was too easy to make a jab at Skipper and he really couldn’t afford to get reported for insubordination.

“You walk a fine line, Kowalski.” Skipper gave the taller man a knowing look but couldn’t help but grin, if Kowalski didn’t give him some attitude then something was seriously wrong somewhere in the universe.

As they at the dining table, Skipper flipped through reports hoping that it looked like he was doing something. The new information did bother him, but as he had told Kowalski earlier, Rico had seemed happier than he had been in some time. He had made the decision to give the team a little talk, maybe give Rico an open opportunity to come clean about whatever Kowalski thought he was hiding (if he was hiding anything.) He wanted to call Kowalski out on his jealousy just like wanted to sit both Rico and Kowalski down and get to the bottom of their relationship. He hadn’t given it much thought, even when Marlene had asked about it, but then he couldn’t help but notice how close the two were and wanted to know where the line was.

“Morning Skippa, K’walski.” Private greeted as he came down the stairs and frowned slightly when he noticed a lack of noise from the kitchen and saw a box of cereal next to a gallon of milk on the table. “Is Rico not up?”

“Rumor has it that he had a late night and snuck in early this morning.” Skipper responded and looked up in time to see Private’s eyes go wide.

“And you’re letting him sleep in?” The youngest member of the team sounded scandalized.

“I figured I’d cut him some slack, it’s one of the most normal things he’s done in months, or at least Rico’s normal.”

“But the last time I broke curfew you made me stay up and clean the bathroom with a toothbrush!”

“And when Rico broke curfew last, I gave him an equally horrible punishment, but I’ve decided to let it slide this time, just like I’ve let you get away with breaking curfew a few times.”

“Skipper, if I may interject, I think this is less about Rico getting to sleep in and more about Private not waking up to a hot breakfast being served.” Kowalski cut in to the growing tension.

“Getting spoiled are we Private? If you want a hot breakfast I’m sure I could find a few MREs in storage.”

Private made a face before speaking, “I’ll think I’ll just stick to cereal this morning.”

“You can always step up to kitchen duty for the day.” Skipper couldn’t help but chuckle at Private’s expression.

“Cereal’s fine.”

It wasn’t long before Rico came down the stairs looking worse for wear, he didn’t even acknowledge the other three at the table heading straight for the kitchen.

Skipper fought the urge to sigh when Kowalski and Private turned to look at him with concern clear on their faces. It was as if they had forgotten what it was like to stay out past curfew and sneak in, only to get 2 or 3 hours of sleep. A few minutes later Rico returned with coffee and let out a grunt of acknowledgement.

“Late night Rico?” Skipper asked and received another grunt and nod of the head that he knew meant yes. “Well I’m surprised you didn’t sleep in longer.”

Rico stared down at the mug in his hands as he answered with a soft, “couldn’t.”

Skipper met Kowalski’s eyes from across the table, the man’s expression far from humble.  It wasn’t any hard evidence but it seemed Kowalski was determined to prove that something was up.

“Alright I’m just going to get this out of the way because it’s a speech that is long overdue. As much as I hate having secrets on the team, especially after that Mr. Tux fiasco, I’m guilty of having a few things that I’m not ready to be exactly open about. Clearly considering everything that happened in Demark with Frankie,” Skipper noticed that he had their attention, but no one seemed twitchy...yet. “However, if it is something that will endanger the team or anyone else I care about, I will come clean. I expect each and every one of you to do the same. We can’t function as a team if we hide detrimental secrets. Which leads me to ask that if you need to come clean about something, this would be a golden opportunity for you to do so.”

Skipper was met by silence and he looked over each of his men. Kowalski seemed to be irritated judging by the way his jaw was clenched, Private wasn’t spilling his guts, and Rico just took another drink of coffee.


	2. Chapter 2

_“If you love somebody/Better tell them while they’re here ’cause/They just may run away from you….”_

Kowalski sighed in relief as Rico let a different track play instead of replaying ‘Working Man’ again. Although he couldn’t really complain about Imagine Dragons since he enjoyed them as well and certainly preferred them over some of Rico’s other music.

Besides Rico had offered to share his space while the lab was decontaminated and while Kowalski would never admit it, it was nice to be in the same space as Rico without the others since the younger man had taken to disappearing whenever they had free time or finished training for the day. It was also the perfect opportunity to try talking to Rico as after Skipper’s attempt to get the younger man to come clean failed miserably which was as expected.

Although now that Kowalski had the opportunity he wasn’t sure how to approach such a sensitive topic and he found himself watching Rico work instead of saying anything or working out the equations he had originally set out to solve. So far the canvas had a lot of different greens, each quite vibrant, lining a well-worn path, but the focus was actually a large tree with something held in its branches. It seemed familiar, but he couldn’t place it. But Skipper was right in his observation that Rico seemed happier than he had in weeks, bobbing and humming along to the music as he painted.  Of course Rico always seemed more relaxed when he was in his studio, but this was something else. Kowalski looked over at the stacks of older paintings leaning against the walls, only one was covered because he had been the one to cover it. And it was one of the few brighter works that Rico had done, his other paintings were either grayscale or used very cold muted colors.

“You seem to be in a good mood,” Kowalski finally commented, but was met by silence. “I take it there’s no hard feelings over ratting you out to Skipper?”

That got Rico’s attention and the man paused to look at him, “So that’s what he was fishing for?”

“Haha, yeah, sorry about that. I guess I was just worried, you normally come talk to me if there’s something on your mind.”

Rico hummed in response to Kowalski confession before shrugging and returning back to the painting.

Kowalski chewed his lip, emotions weren’t his strong suit and he wasn’t sure how honest he wanted to be…well he might as well bite the bullet like he did on the roof those months ago. “Rico, I just…if there was something wrong you’d tell me right? If you were in trouble and needed help you’d still come to me and tell me?”

It as unnerving waiting for Rico to say something, the man was staring at him, clearly confused and possibly even hurt, but Kowalski wasn’t sure what that other emotion was that he was seeing.

“Well duh…” Rico set down his brush and palette down before walking over to where Kowalski had claimed a corner of one of the tables he used to set canvases to dry, “What’s going on with you?”

“That’s a good question.”

Rico’s lips parted, but a high pitched chirp interrupted whatever he was originally going to say, “Hold on for a second.”

Kowalski felt his stomach flip as Rico’s face practically lit up as he checked his phone. He didn’t think he had ever seen Rico look so happy over something, except for maybe when Skipper gave him permission to use excessive force. But this was a different type of glee, there was fondness in his expression as he typed out a reply. It seemed Rico was hiding something after all or rather hiding someone.

When Kowalski cleared his throat Rico at least looked embarrassed as he slipped his phone back into one of the many pockets on his pants, ignoring it when it chirped again.

“One of the bros?” Kowalski found himself asking even though he knew that the chances of it being one of Rico’s other friends were slim.

“Yeah, Duane.” Rico lied smoothly, hoping that Kowalski would buy it at least for now.

“I take it you’ll be heading out soon then?”

“Don’t feel like going out.” That much was true, he wanted to stay in and finish the painting, no matter how tempted he was to see Julien again, but it had been a close call. And knowing that Kowalski had turned him into Skipper made him leery of straying too far from routine.

“All that partying much be catching up to you.” Kowalski meant it to sound like a joke, but his voice sounded more accusatory than anything else.

“Maybe it is.” Rico shrugged and turned up the volume, wincing when he recognized the lyrics.

“ _... I'm sorry, I let you down/Well, these days I'm fine - No these days I tend to lie…”_

There was a good possibility that he’d have to switch to another playlist, one that would drive Kowalski out of the room.  

“I think I’m going to get some fresh air, the paint is starting to give me a headache.” Kowalski was thankful that Rico didn’t comment on his flimsy excuse, but he did have a clear feeling that he was unwanted at the moment.  

He gathered his notebooks and slipped out the door, wondering if he should go to Skipper about Rico seeing someone. Ultimately, it was Rico’s business and he needed to respect that, but he couldn’t understand why his best friend wouldn’t come clean about seeing someone. Of course that was one reason that Kowalski found it hard to swallow, who could Rico be seeing that he felt the need to hide that he was in a relationship? Was it even a relationship? Could he have a friends with benefits deal with someone? It was very puzzling.

Or course the bigger reason was Rico’s mental health in terms of being in a relationship, something Skipper had warned Marlene about when she had wanted to set Rico up with Shelly. Granted Skipper wasn’t saying that Rico couldn’t have a relationship just that it wasn’t something that could be taken lightly given his past. If people only knew a fraction of Rico’s life it would go well beyond their comprehension. Sometimes it went beyond Kowalski’s and he knew more than anyone else, which was frightening in its own way given that there were still things Rico never said a word about in the 12 years they had known each other. Plus Kowalski knew that he didn’t want to see Rico get used or hurt and that was now a very real possibility.

“Is there a reason you’re standing in the middle of the stairs, Kowalski?”

Skipper’s voice pulled him from his thoughts, he hadn’t even realized he had stopped on the steps half-way down them. He wasn’t even sure when he decided to go downstairs instead of going up to the roof.

“Sorry Skipper, I guess I just got distracted.” Kowalski felt like something had broken inside of him as he met Skipper’s questioning gaze. He continued down the steps and Skipper guided him to the dining table out of earshot from where Private sat watching the Lunacorns.

“You need to learn to turn off the old think melon every once in a while…or is this about Rico again? Because I told you not to worry about it.”

“I think he’s seeing someone.” Kowalski finally blurted unable to hold back the overwhelming thoughts bouncing around his head.

Skipper learned forward with a stern expression, speaking in a soft voice, “This better not be your paranoia getting the better of you.”

Kowalski wanted to laugh at the irony of Skipper’s statement, “Maybe it is, but I was talking to Rico and he got a text-”

“That’s some solid evidence to support your case.” Skipper was quick to cut in and roll his eyes. He wanted Kowalski to follow his gut, but not if it led to him jumping to wild conclusions.

“You should have seen his face Skipper, it was like you told him he could destroy something however he saw fit. When I asked him about it, he said it was Duane, but I know he was lying.”

“But you didn’t call him out on it?”

“No.”

“I don’t like this, Kowalski. Not even a little bit, but I want to give Rico the benefit of the doubt.”

“Skipper?”

“He is a big boy and despite his choices in friendships, he is a good judge of character. I don’t know what reason Rico could have for not telling us that he’s seeing someone, if that’s the case, but I know I was hesitant about coming clean about my relationship with Marlene.”

“I suppose you’re right and Rico did assure me that if he was in trouble and needed our help that he’d tell me.” Kowalski felt a little more reassured, but the guilt seemed to linger. “You’ve impressed me Skipper, you’re handling this better than I have been.”

“I’ve been trying to keep in mind that we can’t have a team without trust and I don’t want to have to break in new recruits when I’ve barely got Private whipped into shape.”

The moment was shattered as Kowalski expected it would be, sometime dealing with Skipper was like dealing with Jekyll and Hyde. “Some days I think that you believe being honest for more than a minute will kill you.”

“I wouldn’t want to risk it. But in all seriousness, I can’t say that I’m not worried at all. It’s hard for me to not look at Rico some days and still remember carrying him out of that hellhole we found him in. Then I think about how that mission in Guatemala ended and just think that he’s been through enough. Yet, I don’t want to him to lose a shot at being happy-really happy and that’s not going to happen if I don’t let him live every now and then.”

“I suppose you’re right…for once.” Kowalski smirked, considering it pay back for the small jab and at his and Rico’s friendship.

“You just keep it up Kowalski.”

“Don’t tempt me, sir.”

“I doubt you’ll need to be tempted, now go do something sciencey that won’t bring about the end of the world.”

Kowalski shook his head, “I could go for a game of chess if you’re up for it.”

“So you can beat me in 10 moves? I don’t think so. But I’d be down for a game of Liars’ Poker.”

Kowalski agreed and they fell into light conversation as they played.  Private joined them once the Lunacorn marathon was over. It was nice to have another distraction and a means of keeping the topic of conversation away from Rico for the most part.

“Do you think we should invite Rico to come play a few rounds? We’d have enough players for stomp the wombat.” Private asked as he made his play and drew another card.

“You could try, but he seemed set on finishing a painting today.”

“Really? It’s been a while since Rico picked up a brush. What’s he painting this time? Hopefully not more of those dreary landscapes.”

“I couldn’t tell, it was a lot of vegetation reminded me of….”Kowalski trailed off as it struck him exactly what Rico had been painting. It had been something in a tree in the middle of a jungle, the beginnings of a plane being held up by vines and branches.

“What did it remind you of?”

“Madagascar. Where we met Julien, actually.”

“Really? That’s odd. Do you think it’s a commission for Julien then?”

“If Julien wanted a painting commissioned it’d probably be a grossly exaggerated self-portrait.” Skipper snorted and made his move.

“I suppose you have a point Skipper.” Private laughed and nudged Kowalski, “It’s your turn.”

“Sorry, I was just thinking.”

“Well, while you’re thinking, I’m going to see if Rico wants to take a break and play the next round.” Private stood and stretched before disappearing upstairs.

“You still doing okay Kowalski?” Skipper looked over at Kowalski clearly concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine…or I’m getting there.” Kowalski replied and felt comfortable with the claim, he made his move as they waited for Private to return.

As predicted Rico turned down Private’s offer and they played until Skipper got a text from Marlene saying that she was finished at the gallery for the day.  Which had Skipper excusing himself for the remainder of the evening, he was quick to tell Kowalski and Private not to wait up for him and feel free to order out for the night.

Of course Skipper also reminded them to check in on Rico and get him to take a break. Which was how Kowalski ended up standing in the doorway of Rico’s studio space watching the younger man. It seemed Rico had given up on painting or at least had taken a break to check his phone.  Kowalski could feel himself smile, mirroring Rico’s expression as he looked down at his phone. Every so often Rico would chuckle at something or a faint blush would creep up his neck before he’d type out a reply.

“How’s the painting coming along?” Kowalski fought the urge to laugh at Rico’s startled expression.

“Great.”

“I came to see if you wanted pizza or take-out and tell you that Skipper went out for the night.” Kowalski swallowed thickly, “I also came to apologize for how I’ve been acting lately. Also you don’t have to tell me who you’ve sneaking out to see, it’s none of my business and as long as you’re happy and being treated right then I have no qualms about it.” 

Rico looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “really?”

“Yes, in fact, if you wanted to disappear for a few hours then it’ll be our little secret.”

The grin that spread across Rico’s face was priceless and soon Kowalski was being pulled into a bone crushing hug that lasted only a few seconds before Rico was running out the door leaving Kowalski with a mess. But for some reason Kowalski didn’t seem to mind that one bit.

Kowalski did however mind when he was woken up later that night to slamming doors and raised voices. He nearly collided with Private as they both went for the stairs to see what was happening.

“I don’t care how long it’s been going on. It’s over, Rico! And if you don’t like it then I’ll let CENTRAAL know about your inability to follow orders. They’ll take any reason to put you away.” Skipper’s face was read as he berated Rico, who seemed to just take it. 

“Skipper what’s going on?” There’s a slight tremor in Private’s voice and Kowalski was impressed that Private had found the strength to speak up. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen Skipper so angry.

“Well Private, it seems Rico’s been sneaking out at night to shack up with Julien.” The disgust was clear in Skipper’s voice but it barely registered as the words sunk into Kowalski’s brain. The person Rico had been seeing was Julien, there had to be a misunderstanding somewhere.

“It’s not like that!” Rico’s voice cracked and both Private and Kowalski felt their own hearts break a bit at the sound.

It didn’t affect Skipper as he turned on Rico once more, “I don’t care what it’s supposed to be other than a behavior that I refuse to tolerate.”

Rico didn’t say anything, he only dropped his head in surrender and retreated up the stairs to his room, where the door slammed shut moments later.

Before Private or Kowalski could say anything Skipper turned to them, “Not one word, I don’t think I can take any more tonight.”

“But Rico-”

“I said not a word, Private! Just let Rico throw his fit now that I’ve put an end to his fun. He’ll get over it. You’re dismissed.” Skipper snapped glaring at the two of them until they went back to their respective rooms.

Kowalski didn’t say anything to Rico when he returned to his room even though the urge to apologize was almost overwhelming. If he hadn’t encouraged Rico to go out then this wouldn’t have happened and for that reason he couldn’t imagine that Rico wanted to see him. It didn’t help that Rico had pulled the privacy curtain over the doorway that connected their rooms, it also didn’t help that the curtain did next to nothing in blocking out Rico’s muffled crying.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been only a few hours since they had woken up to find Rico gone. Skipper had ordered them to stay put and not worry about it. He insisted that Rico was playing Juliet and had probably gone straight to Julien during the night, but neither Private or Kowalski felt confident in that assumption.  Just as neither of them felt confident enough to confront Skipper yet, he had explained very little about what happened last night.

Apparently he and Marlene had been walking back to her place when she noticed a couple out on one of The Grooves balconies that looked like Rico and Julien. Skipper had then gotten some gut instinct he decided to follow and when he tried to get a hold of Rico with no success he went over to investigate for himself and that’s when he caught them red-handed or rather base-assed.

It certainly wasn’t a mental image that Kowalski ever wanted to have, but he couldn’t shake it from his mind or rather he couldn’t shake the thought of Julien and Rico together. It seemed to defy all logic, but if Julien really had been the reason behind Rico improved mood then he could accept it. Well he could accept it as long as Julien wasn’t treating it as just some fling.

Which didn’t seem to be the case as Julien finally seemed process the news that they hadn’t seen Rico since last night and he handed Private his phone with the last messages he received from Rico.

“Kowalski…” Private’s face went white and he turned the phone so Kowalski could read it. “That doesn’t mean what I think it means does it?”

“No, Rico wouldn’t do that.” Kowalski kept his voice firm because even though Rico wouldn’t write himself off there was to stop him from disappearing.

“What is he doing here?!” “This is your fault!” Skipper and Julien voices clashed like thunder queuing Kowalski and Private to put themselves in between the two men.

“Wait Skippa! You don’t understand, Julien hasn’t seen Rico either.”

“And you’re believing that bullshit? It’s probably just some ploy!”

“How dare you-” Julien started, his voice cracking.

“Please Skippa just look- Julien got these texts from Rico this morning.” Private held out Julien’s phone and Skipper’s angered expression slipped into something unreadable.

“Alright, that changes things, but it still doesn’t mean that it’s something to worry about. I’m sure Rico will come back when he’s ready to, he just had to blow off some steam.”

“But-”

“Drop it Private!” Skipper snapped but quickly amended when he saw Private flinch, “look if it really bothers you then we’ll check out Rico’s usual hangouts if he’s not back by tomorrow.” He then turned to Julien, “and you. I don’t care why you’re here. I don’t understand why you’re here, but I want you gone asap.”

“Why I’m here?” Julien’s body when rigid and he turned on Skipper with a look that could only be described as murderous, “Tell me- is your problem with me or the fact that I am a man?”

“What difference does it make to you?” There was a slight note of confusion in the older man’s voice, Julien was always the one to throw a curveball into any situation. 

“Whether or not you’re any better than the Devils that handed Rico over to that monster.”

The time seemed to stop at Julien’s statement, Kowalski met Private’s gaze from across the room, a silent agreement on a battle plan if things turned any uglier.  Which was a strong possibility as they watched Skipper bristle at the comment.

Private hadn’t been part of the team then, but Kowalski remembered quite clearly discovering Rico -it was the first time he had ever heard any break in the man’s voice the words _Jesus Christ it’s a kid_ echoing in the warehouse turned lab.

Skipper moved toward Julien but the younger man showed no sign of being intimidated, “And what could you possibly know about that?”

“Obviously more than you.”

“That right there is my problem. Not only are you arrogant and self-centered. You are irresponsible, demanding, and selfish. You use people to get want you want and you don’t spare a thought to their feelings. You don’t spare a thought to anyone’s feelings. You don’t see anything wrong with using people and throwing them away when they’re no longer useful. You have no regrets in jumping to the newest thing when you get bored. So I don’t care what you think you know- if I can keep my men from getting hurt in any way, I will.” Skipper finished and heavy silence hung over the room. “Got nothing to say? Then I suggest you take your leave.” Skipper made his way to the door more than satisfied to have knocked Julien down a few pegs.

“Miguel.” Julien finally spoke up, his voice soft. “I know the name of Rico’s first love was Miguel. He was also a sinner and I know that one day they were caught. I know that Rico was given the chance to redeem himself by killing Miguel. I know he refused and then was forced to watch them beat Miguel to death,” Julien swallowed before continuing, “I know that he was then beaten and handed over to that monster who was told to keep him alive-see if it was possible to cure him. So I ask you again, is your problem with me or the fact that I am a man, because if Rico doesn’t know then what do you think he believes is the answer?”

Skipper didn’t respond, but it was clear by his tense frame that Julien’s speech had affected him and only after a brief moment did Skipper leave the room.

The silence continued as Kowalski and Private processed what Julien had revealed. It was hard enough to process that Rico had even talked to Julien about his time as a member of Las Sombra del Diablo, let alone things that they didn’t even know. Rico had told them that he had failed to follow orders and that it had been his punishment, but he was never more specific than that and they certainly didn’t know about Miguel- Rico had always claimed that Reina was his first love.

A part of Kowalski felt betrayed, Rico was his best friend and yet Julien knew things about him that he didn’t. There was another part of him that could only be described as envious, but Kowalski stomped it down because now was not the time to even begin to think about why he felt that way. Or really it was something that he would rather not think about for any amount of time…ever.

Private seemed to break from the trance first and turned to give Julien’s phone back to him, but the other man was back over by the painting that had been left unfinished. He didn’t think he had ever seen Julien so quiet or dressed so plainly, he wasn’t wearing any jewelry and his clothes weren’t bright or bedazzled. Actually the t-shirt the Julien was wearing seemed familiar and hung loosely like it was a few sizes too big. Private was a bit embarrassed to have taken so long to notice that there was in fact a simple penguin outline screen-printed on the sleeve. He had the same shirt in his own closet.

“Is this supposed to be Madagascar?” Julien asked as his fingertips barely grazed the surface of the canvas, tracing the petals of a bright orange flower.

“Rico never told us where it was supposed to be, but we assumed that it was.” Private answered carefully glancing over at Kowalski who finally seemed to be checking back in to the situation at hand.

“I was telling him just a few days ago how I was feeling homesick, that I was missing the beauty of my first home….”Julien trailed off, Rico had never said anything about a painting and neither had he, well at least not beyond teasing Rico to paint him like one of his French girls. He closed his eyes for a moment daring to think back on that night and felt a familiar burn followed by the heat of tears rolling down his face.

“Julien?” Kowalski asked once he pulled himself from his thoughts and saw the younger man’s shoulders tremble. Like Private he had noticed that Julien had come over without any of his signature make-up or jewelry and instead of flashy bedazzled clothes he was in plain jeans and one of Rico’s shirts. “You should probably get some rest, you can sleep in Rico’s room for now.”

“Or my room if you’d prefer that.” Private was quick to offer in case staying in Rico’s room would upset Julien further. It was rather disconcerting to see Julien so unlike his usual self and Private wasn’t sure how much more emotion turbulence he could handle for the day.

“Ah yes, thank you. I did not get the beauty sleep that a king of my status requires.” Julien’s statement seemed forced as though he was trying to keep up his typical façade.

After showing Julien to Rico’s room they left to see what the damage had been done with Skipper. It wasn’t a total surprise when they found him at the kitchen table with a map of New York in the process of marking all the places that Rico could have gone.

No one said anything for some time, until Skipper set the red pen in his hand off to the side and looked up at the two other men.

“Did either of you know anything about what Julien said earlier?” Skipper’s voice had a harsh edge to it as he spoke.

“No sir.”

Skipper only nodded at the reply from his two men, it was harder for him to swallow that Rico had hid more than just his relationship status from them than it was to swallow the fact that Julien was the one Rico had been seeing.  “Do you believe that Julien’s telling the truth? That Rico actually confided all that to him?”

“Yes sir.”

“I see and I see that Julien didn’t leave.”

“No sir, he fell asleep in Rico’s room.”

“Well then, Private you stay here with Julien. Kowalski and I will go check out the obvious places that Rico could be. If we don’t find him we’ll come back and try to figure out exactly what he took and how far he could have gotten-just in case.” Skipper’s expression and tone was still unreadable and that was more unnerving than anything else.

Especially when there was no trace of Rico anywhere they thought he’d be, not even the bros had seen or heard anything from him, but Skipper hardly uttered a threat or lost his temper in any way. An uncomfortable atmosphere had settled over what remained of the team.

Along with the uncomfortable atmosphere often came an uncomfortable silence much like the one they were currently sitting through as crossed off possible areas and people that would give them a lead on Rico.

Kowalski couldn’t take the silence much longer and decided to point out the obvious of the situation with Rico having almost a full days head start on them, “We’re going to have to report this to CENTRAAL. They’ll be able to put him on a watch list-”

“And what am I going to say? That Rico ran away because I don’t approve of his ‘boyfriend’?” Skipper finally snapped slamming his hand down on the table. The words echoed in his head and the fire that had been burning in his veins since Julien’s speech had finally went out. “If we contact CENTRAAL then it is guaranteed that Rico not be a part a part of this team. I’ll probably not be part of the team or at the least I won’t be commanding officer. ”

“There isn’t going to be a team or at least I’m not going to be a part of it if we lose Rico!”

Skipper looked at Private in mild shock at his outburst.

“Before you say anything Skipper, I feel the same way. Whether or not we alert CENTRAAL to Rico’s absence and they put him away or he manages to get away, I cannot carry on as a member of this team.” Kowalski chimed in keeping his voice even.

“What is this about?” Skipper asked but knew it was redundant, he knew exactly what it was about and Skipper couldn’t honestly blame them. He wasn’t sure that he could continue to live himself if he had chased his own team away. Surely Rico, as well as Private and Kowalski, knew that he was angry because he didn’t want to see any of them get hurt. He wanted to save Rico from the emotional massacre that would result when things went bad and Julien dumped him for next person who caught his eye.

It was times like these that made him rather dislike being the leader, the one to call the shots because he was expected to always do the right thing with what information and observations he had.

 When the other two remained silent Skipper decided to voice his thoughts, “Even if I had known the real reason that Rico was in the warehouse I can’t say that I would have reacted any differently at first. But it’s very possible that after I cooled down I would have handled things differently, like caught Rico before he even had the thought of leaving. Or let Rico know from the start that I don’t give a rat’s ass about the gender of whoever he’s dating, but that he has my support as long as whoever stole his heart is taking care of it. But the point is that in not knowing key pieces of information I made judgements and decisions that may in hindsight have not been the best, but at the time I thought it was the best course of action.”

Kowalski and Private looked down feeling rather ashamed at themselves for thinking that they and Julien were the only ones who were affected by Rico’s disappearance.

If anything Kowalski felt even more ashamed when he recalled his earlier conversations with Skipper. How there were times where both of them found it hard to shake the sight of the battered, bleeding, fifteen year old with IVs and miscellaneous wires sticking out of shockingly pale skin from their minds. How it was hard to shake the phantom feeling of poorly closed incisions under their hands as they carried the near weightless teen out of the freshly abandoned warehouse all the while praying that that half-assed stitches would hold or else his guts would be spilling across the floor.

Kowalski felt sick. Of course Skipper's threats of turning Rico in for insubordination had been hollow, but in Rico's mind he must have been reliving those days of torture and went right back to the mindset of his fifteen year old self and made the decision to run. He couldn't even begin to fathom how Skipper was feeling.

Skipper stood up and folded the map of New York up, "I tried my best, but my best wasn't good enough and I'm willing to face the consequences from that. I just hope Rico's as good as I believe he is and the extra day will give him the time to really give CENTRAAL the slip."

 


	4. Chapter 4

Kowalski had been reading the same sentence for the last ten minutes when Private appeared in the doorway that connected his room to Rico’s.

“You couldn’t sleep either?”

“I don’t think I’ve slept since….”Kowalski trailed off unable to bring himself to even finish the sentence.

“I’ve been having the same problem. I just keep thinking about how silly this whole situation is. How it might have been avoided if just one of us had just done one thing differently.” There was a catch in Private’s voice and Kowalski found himself moving so Private could sit down next to him on the bed.

“I know, I keep thinking this whole thing is my fault. I encouraged Rico to go out that night, I mean, I had no idea that he was seeing Julien. I just noticed how much happier he seemed and figured that he’d tell us who it was eventually.” Hearing the thoughts he had been having for the past several days lifted a weight off his chest and made him remember how useless it was to worry about all of the things he could have done.

“It’s funny, well not really.  I can’t help but remember how terrified I was of Rico when I first transferred, but now I couldn’t imagine not being on a team with him….Did you ever think that it would end like this?”

 “I can’t say I’ve ever given anything like that much thought.” Kowalski offered in return after a beat. It had been a difficult question to work through despite Kowalski knowing that his immediate answer was no because he never thought about the team coming to an end for any reason. And he had never thought about how things would change if something would ever happened to one of them after Manfredi and Johnson left.

“Same. My Uncle Nigel always said that things happen and you just have to move on-keep a stiff upper lip and all that, but I don’t know how you just move on from some things.”

“It’s hard, I mean, holding on to everything and forcing everything down does nothing but make you an angry person. Even though there are some things that you just can’t forgive, I think you just have to pick and choose your battles and decide which is going to hold you back more.”

“So you’re not going to leave the team then?” Private asked feeling like they had been dancing around the subject for some time now.

“No, it’ll be hard, but this is all I have any more. I figure at the worst I’d just go back to R&D for CENTRAAL. Plus, I know that if we all were gone it would destroy Skipper. I don’t agree with how things were handled and I think Skipper truly regrets handling the situation the way he did. Were you really thinking about leaving?” Kowalski asked slightly surprised.

“I started filling out the paperwork for a transfer, but I couldn’t finish it. I couldn’t imagine working for another team or going back to working under the same agency as my uncle as harsh as that sounds,” Private chuckled before continuing, “I even thought about how I’d throw Skipper under the bus when the investigation was launched. There’s no way CENTRAAL is going to accept that Rico just went AWOL-”

“You never know with our team’s reputation,” Kowalski interrupted feeling a small smile pull at his lips just imagining what hell would break loose once they contacted HQ.

“You may be right about that. Still once I thought about it, I had a similar revelation as you and figured that I’d rather go down as a team. Even though I’m not sure what CENTRAAL could actually do to us other than disband the team.”

“That’s comforting to hear because that may be exactly what will happen in a few hours.” Skipper’s voice joined them and the two jumped, heads snapping over to the door where Skipper was standing with his arms crossed and expression unreadable.

“Skippa! How much did you hear?” Private spoke first, his cheek turning pink in embarrassment.

“Enough to know that Kowalski’s not the only one I should keep a closer eye on,” when no one responded Skipper sighed, shaking his head as he collected his thoughts before continuing, “I never seem to be able to make the right decisions when it comes to any of you boys.”

Before Kowalski or Private could argue that Skipper’s statement wasn’t entirely true they heard the front door shut.  Each of them was off-put by the silence that followed only the sound of the storm raging outside filled the void- Julien never attempted to be quiet at any time of the day, not that he had been around as often as usual and Marlene typically announced her arrival or sent a text ahead of time unless she was in a total panic.

A look passed between them as they came to a silent decision and began to make their way to the first floor. It was dark, but at the bottom of the steps they could make out the intruders form.

“No sudden movements-put your hands where I can see them.” Skipper’s voice cut through the silence like a gun shot and the figure complied. A bag fell to the floor with a solid thump as hands where raised in surrender. The bag looked damp and they all imagined that the intruder was also soaked through.

Private turned on the light which did little to reveal the intruder’s face, but it did reveal enough. Under the harsh light he could make out the thin tale end of a scar on the left side of the man’s chin and see where it cut across his lips before disappearing under the shadow cast by the hood of the jacket he was wearing.  But Private wasn’t the only one who made the observation.

“Rico?” Kowalski spoke after a moment and soon enough the man pushed his hood back revealing that it was in fact the missing member of their team.

“Guilty.” Rico’s voice was soft, hardly above a whisper. The rained had soaked through his hood to his hair and meant that there was a good chance that the cold water had also seeped into his clothes.

“I thought you’d be long gone by now. Figured you’d gotten a head start for when CENTRAAL decided to hunt you down like a rapid dog.”

Kowalski bristled at Skipper’s words, watching as Rico’s head dropped down, the younger man adopting a submissive stance.

“Skipper -” Kowalski started and Rico briefly met his eyes, clearly surprised, although Kowalski couldn’t even began to fathom why he would have such a reaction.

“Kowalski, Private, make yourselves scarce I need to have a word with Rico and that’s an order,” Skipper snapped never looking away from Rico, but Kowalski nudged Private knowing that they could stand there all night waiting for Skipper to continue.  Even though he hated the idea of leaving Rico alone with Skipper, he made his way upstairs with Private in tow. They stopped at the top of the stairs hoping to catch part of the conversation.

“It would’ve been interesting to see if they could’ve found you. I mean we looked high and low for you and never picked up on a trail…” Skipper’s voice carried up the stairs then faded out until he barked, “eyes on me soldier!”

The silence carried on and more than once Kowalski had to pull Private back from tearing down the stairs whenever there was slight murmur of voices. Even though he was the one who broke and made his way down the steps after the quiet lasted longer than either of them were comfortable with to see that Rico and Skipper were at the table talking or at least Skipper was talking.

“I know about Miguel,” Skipper’s voice was calm as he continued, “and I was never angry about that-I’d be a bit of a hypocrite if I was. I never intended on turning you in for insubordination. You know that I don’t trust Julien and I can’t stand the thought of any of my boys getting hurt. I was angry that you didn’t tell me…didn’t tell any of us and angry at myself because I felt that I had failed as a leader. And I have failed as a leader….”

Kowalski tuned out the rest of what Skipper was saying instead focusing on the brief look of awe that crossed Rico’s face at Skipper’s admission. He wondered if Skipper had also caught it, given that their leader could be just as observant as he could be oblivious. Still Kowalski knew that this wasn’t his place at least not while it seemed Skipper was actually working on fixing the problems he made. Although to be fair it wasn’t entirely Skipper’s fault he still took the civil conversation as a good sign. 

A few minutes later Kowalski made his way back upstairs feeling that he was intruding on a private moment and that things were going to remain civil.

 “What’s going on?” Private was practically bouncing on his toes in anticipation for Kowalski’s answer.

“They’re talking-actually I think Skipper was in the middle of apologizing.”

“Well that’s good, that’s great actually.”

Private was beaming and Kowalski couldn’t help but smile as well, the younger man’s good moods were contagious.

“It’s certainly a good sign, even if we don’t know how things will be after tonight, guess we’ll just have to find out tomorrow.”

“Right, we should probably turn in before Skippa catches us still up.”

Kowalski agreed and they parted ways to their separate room both anxious to see how things would unfold in the morning.  A part of him was still worried that the team wouldn’t bounce back from the ordeal, even though they had gone through rough patches before that nearly tore the team apart in one way or another, he still found himself lying awake waiting to hear familiar sets of footsteps.

At some point Kowalski realized that he had fallen asleep when he turned over and noticed the sunlight coming through the thin curtains. His first instinct was to check Rico’s room since he never heard his teammate come upstairs a part of him afraid that last night had been a vivid dream. To his initial horror the room was empty but he quickly spotted the duffel bag haphazardly thrown next to the bed and felt immediate relief wash over him. 

He took his time heading downstairs wondering if he was the last one up and what he could even say to Rico once he got through the miscellaneous questions that had been plaguing him since he had first discovered that Rico was seeing someone.

“Excellent timing Kowalski, Rico should be coming back from Julien’s any minute, that is if he remembers the agreement we made last night,” Skipper acknowledged his presence before turning his attention back to the newspaper in his hands.

“Agreement?” Kowalski asked, voice laced with confusion as he took one of the mugs of coffee Private carried out from the kitchen.

“I told Rico he could straighten things out with Julien last night as long as he got back before eight-thirty, preferably back by 8 o’clock sharp. Although, I should have known better than to expect him not to push his return to the very last minute.”

“I have to say that’s really big of you Skipper.”

“More like I know from firsthand experience that hell has no fury like a significant other not kept in the loop of things. Plus, it seems like Rico has a good thing going for him and not that I will ever admit to saying that ever, but I’d hate to see him lose that because of me,” Skipper explained, folding the newspaper and putting it to the side of the table.

Kowalski and Private shared a look of surprise at Skipper’s admission, but before either of them could comment the front door opened and Rico strolled in, his hair was damp and as he approached the table there was a distinct note of coconut filling the air.

“Rico,” Private was on his feet in an instant, jumping over an empty chair to tackle his teammate with a hug, “I’m so happy you’re back.”

“No poetry?” Rico teased and laughed when Private’s ears turned red from embarrassment and he mumbled something about learning his lesson the first time.

“Rico, I just wanted to say that I’m glad to have you back and I’m sorry,” Kowalski gushed suddenly then froze and waited for the worst. He hadn’t planned to spill all of that, especially not with Private and Skipper in the same room.

A chuckle escaped Rico, “Just glad to be back,” he crossed the room and pulled the taller man into a hug which was easily returned although Kowalski still seemed slightly taken back when the hug ended.

“You’re okay then? You’re not mad at me?”

“Never was mad, just scared,” Rico had never planned to tell them the truth about how he ended up a human guinea pig, but the truth had come out anyway. He wasn’t even mad at Julien for telling the team in fact he was quite the opposite once Skipper told him how it was Julien who helped to straighten him out.

Kowalski nodded, “Well, I’m sorry that you never felt safe enough to tell us yourself, even though I can understand why you’d be hesitant.”

“I believe hesitant would be an understatement and I believe that it’s been made clear that that is a sentiment that we all share, Rico. You’re a part of this team, a part of this family, and you shouldn’t have to feel a need to hide things from us. That’s something that goes for all of you boys. But now if we can stow all these tender sentiments until another time. There’s a few things we need to talk about and we need to lay or re-lay some ground rules,” Skipper cut in, taking back control of the situation. “Any questions before we begin?”

When no one answered Skipper took it as a sign to continue believing that the sooner things could return to normal or at least as normal as things could be for them, the better.

***

“They really are sweet together,” Marlene commented as she towel dried her hair and joined Skipper by the bar after she and Kowalski lost to Rico and Private in a game of volleyball.

“I always thought Rico had better taste than that or least more sense than that,” was Skipper’s reply as they watched Julien run his fingers through Rico’s wet hair affectionately before pulling him into a brief kiss once he sat down on the other unoccupied lounge chair and began to dry off with a towel.

 “Julien isn’t as bad as you think he is and before you say anything else about having any sense, remember I wanted to set Rico up with Shelly?”

“That’s exactly what I mean, Marlene. He said no to Shelly but yes to Julien? It doesn’t make sense to me.”

“Well, you did give them the perfect opportunity to get to know each other, you know, always sending Rico to deal with Julien’s drama. I can see how they ended up getting to know each other.”

“Don’t remind me. And speaking of getting to know each other,” Skipper trailed off before turning his full attention to the other couple, “Keep it PG over there, hands above the waist where I can see them! At all times,” he quickly added catching Julien’s grin. He was glad to see that Rico had the decency to at least look embarrassed. “I still can’t believe that they’d been seeing each other for months before we found out. I mean Julien is doesn’t know the meaning of subtle and Rico is, well, Rico.”

“Just remember that was not that long ago and it took me practically forever to get you to admit to the team that we were dating,” Marlene teased, it had taken them what felt like forever to stop dancing around each other to even begin dating.

“You always have an answer for everything don’t you?” Skipper smiled, feeling an overwhelming wave of affection for the woman next to him. It brought a pang of guilt that he could have destroyed Rico’s relationship that was clearly ran deeper than he had initially thought.

“Something tells me you have the answer for that question,” Marlene’s expression softened as she noticed that Skipper had tensed up, “Skipper, no one’s perfect. The important thing is that we learn from our mistakes.”

 “You’re right Marlene, it’s just I feel like I’ve been making a lot of mistakes lately, with Private, with Frankie, and now with Rico- it makes me nervous about what could lie ahead.”

“Now you know I feel every time you tell me that you’re leaving for a mission and don’t know how long you’ll be gone. But in all seriousness, I’m starting to think there isn’t anything that you guys can’t bounce back from and I’ve only seen a little bit of what you’ve had to go through. It’s amazing. I’m sure whatever comes next you’ll be fine, you always are.”

 


End file.
